What a success. So many of you have lived up to the standards we expect in Cocks, and haven't you done well.
To the driver that flew into my side of the road at me because of the parked cars in your lane, you're such a cock! To the driver that had to overtake me despite my doing the 35mph in a 30 zone downhill, you too are a cock! To the driver that parked on the zebra crossing, a Stirling effort!
And the Palletline HGV driver who pulled his whole unit on to the pavement outside Boots and Staples in the city centre. You're a massive cock! Well done you!
Don't own a car? Your kids too young to drive? Don't worry, they can be cocks too! All you have to do is send them out on the road without lights. Don't forget to remove those reflectors!
To the lady driver with the chest thumpingly loud dance music coming from their hatchback - yes you with the blonde hair and the terrible voice with your munter-mate in the passenger seat! Well done for driving down the A33 with your lights off at 6.50am this morning! Maximum points for driving past the Police HQ and ignoring the cyclist who was only concerned for your safety when he shouted to switch them on. Maximum cockery there!
To the driver that did over 60mph around a bend, on two wheels.. past a school at knocking off time. You're a massive cock! Well done!
To the lady driver who was too lazy to get out of her car parked outside a Woolston school, and over a dropped kerb to someone's driveway. Pumping your horn in a stationary vehicle is a clear act of a Cockington! I'm sure your small child instantly knew it was your car the horn was blairing from and was perfectly happy to cross the road on her own to reach your vehicle.
Because that's how you raise a cock. By exposing them to risk so that they'll clearly know where they stand.
Cocks.
2 comments:
And when it snows, even normal people start to drive like cocks:-)
Readers will be pleased to know that every day is 'drive like a cock' day.
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